How to start? Where to start? I suppose the best place to start would be at the beginning but the beginning was so long ago that I almost forget how this even happened.
Ok so it was back in 2016 during late September/early October that someone mentioned, on a particularly sunny ride, the idea that we should form a team to compete in the Pivot Twentyfour12. For those of you that don’t know, the Pivot Twentyfour12 is a 24hr Mountain bike race based in Plympton. You can race in relays of teams or pairs and also ride solo for 12 or 24 hours. When I mentioned the race I thought I was going to struggle to get a team of four together. Would you believe that six idiots put their hands up to join me! Ok so we had seven riders. We split up into a group of five men in the open team category and two riders in the mixed pair category. Places all booked and then time to forget about it, it was eight months away…
Fast forward to May 2017 and it dawned on me that the race was only two months away. I thought I had better check the guys were still up for the challenge. Unfortunately a couple of the guys had to drop out. So now we only had three men in the open team, we could run with four. Appeals were put out to other mountain bikers that we knew, everyone seemed to be busy or silent. Thankfully a couple of weeks before the event we were sitting in the pub with a couple of other riders and Seth volunteered to join the team. Thank goodness for beer!
With only a couple of weeks to go the banter started between the two teams in our group, who was going to be fastest, who was going to drink the most beer, who was going to party the hardest. Then it got serious, I made the mistake of looking at last years results. For us riding in the mixed pair category I worked out that we actually had a shot at the podium. Lap times were estimated, strategies were worked out and calories required were calculated, I’d need 10,000! I couldn’t believe it, five days worth of food in 24 hours. I checked the calculations, yep I’d burn 10,000 calories. The four guys in the open team would need a lot less and they planned on beer and bacon butties to see them through, plus they would have more time to rest and recover. I needed food and lots of it. Luckily my teammate came up with a solution, packs of dehydrated food topped up with gels and bananas. I promptly ordered some. Mark in the open team had a good time ribbing me about my NASA food. It didn’t bother me, I was going for my first podium finish!
Then a week before the event all my plans were thrown up in the air. My teammate had to pull out. Bugger it. I was supposed to be getting a podium at the weekend. Ok time for a new plan. Thankfully the open team had a spare place, I asked if I could join them and they said “yes”. So we were all sorted, I was going to have a chilled out weekend with the lads…
The problem was my mindset was in a completely different place. I was supposed to be trying for a podium. There was no way we were going to get that in the open team category, that’s where the pro’s play. What to do? What to do? Then while I was out on a ride I had a bolt of inspiration. There was nothing in the rules to say how many laps each team member had to do. So all I had to do was find a willing female to ride/walk one lap then I could do the rest. When I got home I relayed my idea to my wife and we discussed it. She even said that she would help me if she could, but unfortunately the logistics didn’t work out. Mark was bringing his wife Rachel along, I could always ask her to bring her bike along. Eventually the idea was dismissed as selfish/stupid/irresponsible so I stayed with the idea of having a chilled out weekend.
Friday came and it was time to set off for Plymouth, Charlie collected me at 1pm and we collected Seth at 1.30pm. Time to get on the road. Rain and traffic did its best to dampen our spirits but as far as I was concerned I was going to spend a lot of time on my bike this weekend and I didn’t care! While we were in the car we had a lot of time to talk, Charlie and Seth mentioned that they were surprised that I hadn’t tried to get Rachel to ride a lap. “Jannet’s going. You could always ask her.” I laughed it off, but in my head I was thinking. Suddenly Seth put his hands to his head with a groan “What’s up?” “I forgot my sleeping bag.” As you can imagine we showed Seth lots of sympathy, mostly by taking the mickey out of him. We hooked up with Mark and Rachel at a services for dinner. Andy and Jannet were in front of us hiding from the rain in a fish and chip shop. I decided that I wouldn’t have bacon for dinner as I was intending to eat lots of bacon sandwiches over the weekend. So I ordered Gammon, egg and chips… While I tucked in we gently enquired if Rachel would be interested in joining me in the mixed pair category. “You’ll only have to do one lap and you’ll get to stand on the podium.” Nope she wasn’t convinced.
We continued on our way following Mark and Rachel, it was still raining and we were about 2 hours from our destination. Andy and Jannet had arrived and told us to look for the blue gazebo blowing across the field, that’s where they were. Hmm, the weather’s not that bad. Ten minutes later we found out what Andy was talking about, torrential rain and gale force winds. “I WANT TO GO HOME!” Fortunately for us the weather calmed down when we arrived at Newnham Park, we found Andy and Jannet, set up our tents and chilled with beer. I noticed a cyclocross bike lying next to Andys MTB. “Is that your bike Jannet?” “Yes, I was going to go for a ride while you guys were racing.” “Instead of going for a road ride would you like to join my team? You’ll only have to do one lap and you’ll get to stand on the podium.” Now there is a debate between the people who witnessed this conversation. I say that that is a true statement but the others say I promised Jannet a podium. I still refute their claims. Amazingly though, Jannet agreed!
The next morning we all woke bright and early, you don’t get much choice when you’re camping, we walked down to the registration tent after checking that Jannet was still up for it and she was. All signed up and on the walk back Mark noticed that I’d gone quiet. I realised what I’d done and now I was getting nervous. Quick pop to the shop for extra food and it was time to get ready. Charlie was going first for the open team and I was going first for the mixed pair. We would both be doing two laps and swapping with our teammates in the transition area. We got an extra shortened lap as a parade lap around the campsite and it was brilliant! Everyone was cheering us on and making as much noise as they could as we went round. Charlie lost me pretty quickly once we got to the first hill, which is always the case when we ride together.
Oh, did I forget to mention it hadn’t stopped raining?
The course that the Pivot Twentyfour12 team had set up was great. By the time I started my second lap all the riders had spread out. From the start line you went around the around a corner to a dip in the field with a small drop then up the other side, a straight then turn drop down over a bridge and climb along a grassy field which then descended down rocks through trees and up the tarmac climb. At the top it was in to twisty, rocky, rooty single track. Down and then climb up to the Motivation station (I would need these ladies), more rooty, rocky single track. Back to the motivation station. Then it was all downhill back towards campsite including a bomb hole and a trail alongside the river. More corners in the campsite, including a hairpin which would be our teams favourite for cheering riders on. Then the ford crossing with optional bridge. Up a hill, over the whoops, single track, climb, drop down across the bridge, power down up the steep bank and a service track climb to the quiet campsite and descend down the grassy field to the switchback using the berm to slow down. Another switchback, down the grass hill and over the road back into the main campsite. More twists and turns, down and ups to the start line. At a couple of points there were a couple of kicker ramps you could jump off. I avoided these, I can’t jump but some of the other guys had a go. I pulled into the transition area and Jannet got on her borrowed bike, guilt had started to set in and I told her to take her time and be careful. Off she went. Andy looked concerned. “Does she do much mountain biking?” “No. First time.” “Oh…” Then I saw Charlie. “Charlie!” We exchanged manly hugs and compared our experience of the course. It was then I noticed the look of horror on the other guys faces. I think the picture below explains why, that’s Charlie and myself after two laps, guess who rides with mud guards.
We washed the bikes off and then I ate some lunch. I had bought some of my NASA food along. It was interesting… It did the job and filled me up, I’ll be getting some for bikepacking. An hour had passed and we still hadn’t seen Jannet. We waited at the side of the course and cheered the other riders on, giving them words of encouragement “Only 21 hours to go!” That kind of thing. I started to walk back to the tent to get a drink. “Jannet!” Yes she was still alive. Time for me to get ready and get back out there. We met her in the transition area, I think the word terrifying came out of her mouth. I was thankful that she was ok and grateful to her for getting out there and doing it. I then started what I planned to be my four lap stint.
Did I mention it was still raining?
Oh my goodness what had Jannet done to the course? The mud had got thicker, it was a completely different course. At this point I started to break the course/race down in my head.
Tarmac climb. Marshals with Heavy metal music. Motivation station with happy girls and random music. Scary bit. Motivation station. Campsite and the guys. Water splash. Easy bit. Quiet campsite. Finish line and the guys. Start again. That’s an hour. One lap equals one hour. Don’t count the hours. In three more laps you’ll stop for dinner. Mmm, dinner. Long break with dinner. Get some dry clothes. When dinner break is done it’ll be midnight. Put on dry cycle clothes. Ride for two laps. Eat rice pudding. That’s 2.30am. Sunrise is 5.40am. So two laps will take me to 4.30am. Another break. Go out again at 5am, see the sunrise. That’ll be nice. Then two laps mean breakfast at 7am. Go back out at 8am. Another two laps that’s 10am. Mmm, I fancy a bacon butty. I’ll have a bacon butty at 10am. Then 2 more laps and finish. Then the podium. Easy.
The only problem was, it was still raining which meant that the woods were getting dark early, the organisers were telling everyone that they had to have lights at 7pm. The rules allowed us to pull off at any point on the course but we had to re-enter at the same point. Our camp was about three quarters way through the loop. I pulled off on my third lap. Andy was out on the course. I changed and ate some dinner. It was good to shoot the breeze with the guys and ladies. They were all doing a good job at keeping spirits up. Standing on the hairpin corner they would shout encouragement to riders. Once one of our riders went past they would walk down to the start and cheer them from there. This system worked brilliantly and would become invaluable for my personal battle. Andy went past for the second time, which meant it was time for Charlie to meet him in the transition area. “I’m going to try three laps this time, but I’m not sure, I’ll let you know Mark.” Then off Charlie went.
Would you like to guess what the weather was doing at this point? Yep, still raining.
Charlie rode off in the dark and we started to hatch a plan. Mark didn’t look too keen about going out again. I wasn’t looking forward to riding on my own in the wee hours. “Why don’t I ride with you Mark? It’ll be good to have some company.” “Ok as long as you don’t think I’ll slow you down.” This was a ridiculous statement. I haven’t got the Mister Slow moniker for nothing. “No. It’ll get me through the night. I’ll ride with you and then when Seth comes on after two laps I’ll ride with him and then it’ll be Andy’s turn and daylight.” The only problem in the plan was I had come off three quarters of the way into the lap. So the plan was Charlie would come round on his third lap, I’d jump back on the bike then complete my lap to meet Mark at the transition area. “That’s if Charlie does three laps.” “Of course he will.” We stood at our favourite corner to cheer Charlie on as he went through on his first lap. “CHARLIE! Oh, you’re not Charlie. CHARLIE! Oh, you’re not him either.” Now I’m not saying that Seth was doing it on purpose but he had done the same when were waiting with apprehension for Jannet. Only this time it caught on. The guys in the tent next to us started calling every rider Charlie and then the whole corner were shouting “CHARLIE!” At every rider and believe me when I say that at 11pm in the pissing rain it was hilarious. The reactions from the riders were great as well. Some were silent, most were bemused and one shouted “Who the F**k is Charlie?” Then Charlie came round the corner to cheers and applause from all of us. I don’t think he heard Mark shouting “Three laps Charlie. Ok.”
Back at the tents we got the bikes ready for the next stage. It was time to attach the lights and shoot the breeze. The time came to wait again for Charlie on the corner and we picked up our game. He appeared and we cheered! Then he said “I’m just doing two laps.” What?! No. That wasn’t in the plan. I couldn’t blame him, the weather was getting worse. Ok time to get into my last set of dry clothes. The rain picked this moment to get heavier. Mark looked at me, “I don’t fancy this.” Uh oh. Ok. Seth didn’t look too keen either. It was decided that I would start my lap and Mark would talk to Charlie about course conditions. Then Charlie appeared, no one was waiting for him at the transition so he came to us. Mark talked to Charlie about the course conditions and would make his decision and let me know when I reached the start line. I headed off and realised that my main light wasn’t working, Charlie offered his light but I said I’d be alright I’m riding with Mark.
You probably want a weather update at this point. Wet, wet, wet.
The river was flowing fast now, I still rode through the ford. I got to the start line and there was Mark. “Sorry mate, I’m not riding in this.” “Fair enough.” You see at the end of the day we all have an understanding and respect, no one is expected to ride when they don’t want to. I was riding a different race. The guys were there for a bit of fun and when it’s chucking it down only the stupid find enjoyment. Thank goodness I’m stupid. I also made a conscious decision that I did not want to stop, clean up and then put cold wet clothes back on. However long this stint lasted it would be my last. I’m not sure but I think it was at this point Seth told me I was joint 3rd with 7 laps and the other two teams in 3rd place had stopped for the night. What he didn’t tell me was if we finished as we were Jannet and I would finish 5th due to the timings. Ok time to get pedalling. My right pedal didn’t feel right. Just riding with a head torch wasn’t great either. The course had changed again. Areas that were muddy had been washed away to reveal rocks and roots. My eyes were getting irritated by the amount of mud being thrown into them, I’ve never had so much grit in them. There weren’t many riders left out on the course, I guess they decided enough was enough, plus the twelve hour racers had finished. I got to our tent, Charlie lent me his light and I fixed my pedal. Off I went again. By the time I finished this lap it was probably about 1.45am and my memory becomes a bit of a blur. What I do remember is the next time I came round Seth was there cheering me on, I handed him my bike and he cleaned it while I got some food down me. I must of been a babbling idiot to him, as I couldn’t think anymore. I just existed. But every lap in the night Seth was there cheering me on at the campsite then he’d be at the start line updating me on my progress. He got me a Mocha and there was the pink flamingo incident. I asked what the time was and he said 3.30am, I was shocked as I thought it was 2am. “So my laps are an hour and a half not an hour?” “Yes.” Ok so 3.30am, finish next lap at 5am. Sunrise on the following lap and breakfast.
Guess what. The rain had stopped.
I had consumed 20 gels during the race and by the sunrise I was sick to death of the things. This is where the ladies at the motivation station came to the rescue. They had real food there, chairs to sit on and tea and coffee on tap. It was an Oasis in a sea of mud, roots and rocks.
When I stopped for breakfast, Seth washed my bike. I could hear the others starting to rouse from their slumber. They would be waking to the news that overnight Jannet and I had gone from 5th to 2nd place. But to keep that place I needed to keep riding, so back on the bike. By the time I got to the start line Mark and Rachel had joined Seth. Then by the time I got to the camp area, everyone was out. It was good to see the gang again. “What’s the time?” I shouted “Quarter to eight!” What? No! I thought it was ten o’clock. That’s three more laps I need to do and I couldn’t stop because the 3rd place pair were hot on my heels. The guys had a plan though, Andy would join me for my penultimate lap and Charlie would ride with me on my last lap. Now the rain had stopped the mud had taken on a new consistency, like glue. The bike was not happy and I started to wash it in the river with other riders. The clear water was refreshing and helped to get the grit out of my eyes. The sun came out as I started my final lap and that lap was the longest of the whole event. I started to get shooting pains up my shins, I could no longer ride up hill. Charlie stuck with me the whole way round. We got to the motivation station and I said I needed a cup of tea. Charlie didn’t know about the motivation station, he got a hug off the pretty lady. She took one look at me and said “I’m not hugging you” and gave me a kiss on the cheek instead. I think I got the better deal. Final push to the end and I crossed the line in brilliant sunshine. This was a long 24 hour race which means if you cross the line before noon you are allowed to do another lap. The man on the mike at the finish line was asking if I was going to do another lap. He had his arm out, I thought he was pointing to a gap in the fence to peel off if I wasn’t. Nope, he wanted to give me a high five, I’d left him hanging. Doh! I went through the gap and saw my friends waiting for me. We’d done it! I collapsed to the ground. Coffee and bacon butties were handed to me. It didn’t quite sink in.
Final weather update. The sun was shining.
We headed back to the tents, time for my bike and myself to get cleaned up. Then it was time to go to the presentation. I really enjoyed my moment on the podium with Jannet, I could get used to this. On the way home Rachel messaged Magic radio and the DJ called her back. Rachel was on the radio telling the country about our weekend, that was very cool.
As I sit here recovering from shin splints, don’t ask me how I got them I don’t know, I think about the highlights and if I would do it again. Yes I would do it again, I’m thinking 24 hour solo next time, with proper training and a support crew I believe I could get in the top 10, that wouldn’t be bad out of 80+ riders. This event really suited me, it was about keeping going, not sprinting round the course. Think of me as a diesel rather than a sports car.
The atmosphere of the event was brilliant. There were kids races on the Saturday morning. The crowd was great, they cheered all the riders on, kids enjoyed giving us high fives as we went around, the other kids that would spray us and our bikes clean, the marshals kept us going with dodgy music, the other competitors were all friendly and we would chat as we went around and the course was interesting so it never felt like a struggle to get round.
Before you ask, yes I fell off. Quite a lot in fact. Most of the time in soft mud. The most notable were on the hairpin when Jannet cheered me on and down the grassy slope when Jannet again cheered me on. The crowd were entertained when I told her to stay away from me. Then there was the fall during the night when my front wheel got caught up with a rock and I ended up rolling down the side of the hill through spiky bushes.
My thanks to the organisers and marshals.
Special thanks goes to the guys and girls who helped me get through 24 hours of wet and muddy mountain bike riding. Jannet who stepped in at the last moment. She did a sterling job having not ridden an MTB. Seth who stayed up all night cheering me on and being my pit crew cleaning the bike and keeping me fed. Andy and Charlie who helped me round the last laps keeping me focused and my spirits up. Also to Charlie for giving me his light when mine failed in the rain. Mark for the constant ribbing and making me determined to prove him wrong about my “NASA” food being crap. To be fair it didn’t have much taste but gave me the energy I needed. Rachel for being there for food and drink and hugs in my low moments. To my wife Jo for letting me go away for weekends to pursue my hobby.
Thanks to you the reader if you managed to get this far.
Adventures in mud 
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